3/28/07 10:15 p.m.

Big news here- Josh got his collar off!!!! He is so excited to be free of the brace and feel like he can move his head around a bit.  After the X-ray, the doctors decided the break on his neck is fully healed and he is able to go without any further support.  It healed a bit faster than expected so got it off early!!! yay!!!

I had a very nice evening with the kids. I got a good nap today and had more energy than normal. We drove around looking at property for sale and the options for putting a ranch on it.  Many of the plots are not big enough to put a ranch on but need a walk-out or a 2 story.  Many of the plots are in subdivisions and we are looking for more of a city location.  We are waiting for God to show us exactly what he has for us. We are open to whatever but are looking for God to guide us.

After we spent a decent amount of time driving around (we had to get some shakes to keep the kids happy!) we went over to MFB and spent about an hour and a half there. That is significantly longer than usual.  The kids have a tendency to get in trouble and Josh gets tired quickly. Today, everyone was feeling good and the kids were acting so cute. Noah talked about going to the zoo today with school and how he loved the tigers and monkeys. Zoe sang at length for us. We did puzzles in the playroom and watched Noah try to figure out the playstation. It was very enjoyable. We even stayed after the kids bedtime.

We are getting into a major time crunch when it comes to deciding where we will be living. We have made the official decision we will not be moving back home. The closer the time gets, the more it stresses Josh out to imagine living in the dining room. This is also hard for him because it means we will not be moving back home. He wants to move back home and have everything be normal and he knows, right now, that is not possible. He is not wanting to sell the house because he is believing God will heal him and we will eventually be able to move back in. He would like to rent it out if possible for a while. Right now, the therapists as MFB are encouraging us to make no huge decision we can live without making the first year. There is a house for rent on the west side of GR that will work but Josh is worried about being a ways from church and the community. We have decided to spend the next day or two looking in depth for any other options closer to home. The key is we need a roll in shower and many of the houses in the area that are handicap accessible do not have a roll in shower. Please pray that God gives us clear guidance on what he has for us.

Josh's spirits have been up and down over the past 2 days. Yesterday, he was discouraged saying that he really believed he would be further along in the healing process than he is right now. He has so little control over much of his body and it is easy to get down.  I try to spend a lot of time listening to him, knowing he needs to talk about this all, and then trying to encourage him with how far he has already come. Even there are so many things that are difficult right now, we have so much to be thankful for. We have an amazing group of support all around us, MFB could not be better for us, we have a baby on the way that should have never been.... and that's just the beginning. Yes, we've had a lot of heartache and we wonder what God is trying to teach us but we continue to see his blessings all around us.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!

-Josh's triceps

-guidance on where to move (and pray it happens quickly!!!)

3/26/07 10:20 p.m.

The offerings for the van were taken at Spring Lake Wesleyan yesterday.  All I heard was that it went very well and they are still waiting for a final count.  We are beyond thankful for the support this church has given to us. They are an amazing church of prayer and faith! The van will be arriving from California tomorrow as far as we know.  It has many things that need to be modified on it.  The lift will be added, chairs made to be removable, wheelchair locks installed and many other modifications made.  When Josh is ready to learn how to drive again, it will be modified to allow for that. We are thinking he may be ready to start training for that in 6-8 months. Pretty shocking if you ask me.  He is excited to start the process but knows he has to get stronger before he is ready. Until then, I will be his designated chauffeur.

Josh spent some time outside today in the beautiful spring day learning how to maneuver his wheelchair through some difficult areas. MFB has an outdoor obstacle course to practice ramps, turns and even has a slalom course.  The slalom did not work too well because the bushes were a bit overgrown! :-)

We had an interview with a man from the GR Press who is the religion editor. Hopefully it turns out to be a good article. It is nice to feel like a writer wants to get the real story and not just heresy.  He is also coming back later this week to see Josh in therapy. We are encouraged by any opportunity to get the word out about Josh and the hope we have that many others do not. You never know how the article will turn out but the man we talked to was obviously a man of God.

We are still trying to figure out our living situation for when Josh comes home. The closer it gets the more Josh feels he will struggle if we move back home. He has a really hard time imagining his bedroom, bathroom and everything else taking place in the dining room. We both feel like we could handle it for about 3 months but if we are going to build something, 3 months is a very optimistic estimate. I went and looked at a house for sale that is barrier free and has a roll in shower that would be perfect for Josh.  The house is pretty expensive but thought we'd at least take a look. It was a definite no after looking at it. It is huge but has only 2 bedrooms and not layed out to add any additional bedrooms on the main floor. It would also take additional money to get it into shape for our kids. I feel good knowing a definitive answer. We are continuing to look for land and are praying that God makes his plans clear for us when he is ready to reveal them (hopefully sooner rather than later).  Josh is due to come home in 3 and a half weeks and we are unsure about many things.

Josh had a chance to spend some time with the kids while I was out looking at the house for sale. Noah was being a bit of a stinker and it was nice for Josh to be able to be the only parent available and discipline Noah. I reminds both Noah and Josh of the role he still plays in Noah's life. I think it was also good for Josh after the experiences with Noah yesterday and Saturday. It's amazing how God supplies the opportunity for Josh to feel like he is an integral part of Noah's life right after we asked people to pray yesterday for the situation.  We serve a very powerful God.

Well, I go in tomorrow to apply for Medicaid, and about every other public assistance program under the sun. Please pray that it goes smoothly and that we qualify for the things we really need. God bless.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!!!!!

-Josh's triceps

-guidance in the decisions we are making for our living situation

3/25/07 7:55 p.m.

Another typical weekend day for us.  Lots of OT and PT and then a lazy Sunday afternoon. We both took a nap and watched a movie.  We also watched the Greenhouse service on the internet.

I was as surprised as some of you may have been to see that giving can now be tax deductible.  We have talked at length at what God wants to accomplish out of this and should we form a ministry out of this? Does God want to use this in a specific way? We want to be open to however God wants to use us and forming a ministry also allows us to have tax-deductible status.  Yay!

God continues to work in our lives, easing our stresses and concerns and giving us comfort when we think we are sinking. Josh is having a bit of a rough night.  The kids continue to be a source of anguish for him.  Noah and Zoe came up today and Zoe was her normal hyper self, running up and giving daddy kisses and asking for stories.  The only thing Noah was interested in was figuring out daddy's new wheelchair. He paid little attention to anyone else in the room and was completely engrossed. Yesterday, at the birthday party, he was not interested in Josh and only interested in swinging. I had not noticed yesterday but Josh talked about it today. He is feeling like an uninvolved father who wants to be involved but does not know how to get through to him. I hate it when he feels like that. We both realize Noah is not your typical 4 year old but it it still difficult all the same.  Please be praying for a way for Josh and Noah to interact that is possible for Josh.

We continue to discuss where we are supposed to go and where we are supposed to live. There are so many decisions that need to be made and not NEAR enough time. It stresses me out! Our social worker has been very helpful but she can't make decisions for us. Please pray that we can have clarity of mind in these decisions and that the decisions can be made quickly. 

That's all for tonight. I'm heading home to put the kiddos in bed and then hit the hay myself.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING- I WILL NOT STOP ASKING FOR THIS!!!!!

-Triceps

-Stability for our family

3/24/07 11:30 p.m.

So, you wonder where in the world I have been?  I have no great excuse to give other than the fact that I have been so tired that I have not taken the time to update.  Josh continues on his daily regime of rehab, rehab, rehab.  His shoulders are starting to bulk up again and it makes him look more like himself.  He feels good about this. He also wore jeans for the first time the other night and loved that too. We have been attempting to do some normal things such as going out for dinner or running into a store.  It is allowing us to see what we need to learn more about and what we are comfortable with.  We enjoy getting out of MFB but the work it takes to get from point A to point B is quite substantial.  Josh's parents were here today and took us out for a late lunch.  It is the first time they have done something "normal" with him since the accident.  We went to eat at On the Border and it went smoothly.  Does it seem like the only place we eat is OTB? It is! :-)

Last night while we were out, Josh's power-assist wheels ran out of battery charge.  It made it interesting but we managed.  Again today, we went to Emmy and Ezekiel's birthday party (my niece and nephew) and the battery died AND we got a flat tire.  Hmmm... interesting. 

Today was a tough day for me.  I woke up tired, not a good start, and was in tears all morning.  Because Josh's parents were here, I took advantage of it and took the morning off.  I was not going to be an encouragement to anyone if I went to the hospital and I needed some time to process. I can get overwhelmed at times and need some time to myself.  Ephram has been making my physical body increasingly tired and going out on the town tires me out very quickly.  We are trying to find a balance that works for us all.  We also are trying to remember my track record for early labor and delivery and want Ephram  to grow a lot more before he makes his debut!

I know God has a plan for us but on days when you are so tired, it's hard to keep a positive attitude. I am very thankful for having a chance to have a break this morning. Josh has been very supportive of me needing some time away but it is still difficult.  He is a social butterfly and now that he is able to get out and about he wants to go places all the time! He also wants to stay out late (I guess late is realative, but late for me) and keep the fun going.  We know we have a ton of adjusting to do and this is just another example of this.

WJQ- 99.3 FM had a swim today at Lake Macatawa for Josh and another pastor in the West Michigan area with leukemia.  People collected pledges and $25,000 dollars was raised. God is incredible.  Parker Stevens, a cousin of mine and only 8 years old, raised $4800 alone for the swim.  He is quite the little guy.  He came up yesterday to interview Josh on camera for a church video and was so sweet. He then went on to pray for Josh and is already a little preacher. Josh was very touched by him.  God has used Parker in an incredible way and not just to raise money but to be an encouragement to Josh who had never met him before yesterday.  Josh and I had hoped to come to the swim but therapy and rehab took precedence in the eyes of Josh's therapist. He also still has little body temperature control, his internal thermostat continues to malfunction. We thought being outside in the cold could be a bad choice for Josh at this time.  Some girls from Plymouth, IN also came to the swim who had raised some money.  One of the girls, Brooke Hulse (sp?) was in the youth group when Josh helped out at the Wesleyan church there about 8 years ago.  Josh was once again amazed. This swim has been nothing but a blessing and we so appreciate WJQ for the work they did to make this possible!

That's all for now. It's almost midnight and I'm tired! Thank you for continuing to keep up with us and continuing to keep us in your prayers. We love you all!

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!

-Josh's triceps

-housing decisions that need to be make