3/23/07 5:45 a.m.

I'm sitting up in bed, unable to sleep.  I'm sitting here listening to the birds chirp and amazed at the passage of time since the beginning of this journey.  We left on vacation in the dead of winter.  I sit here, alone in my bed, hearing spring arriving and knowing that Josh is still unable to come home.  In some ways, the time has gone by so quickly.  We have already been back in Michigan almost 2 months. Then in other ways, I think of all that has taken place and am so thankful that the worst is over. 

I recall vividly hearing the doctors in Cancun, in their Spanish accents I struggled so much to understand, saying that Josh was in a life-threatening situation.  They made no guarantees of his fate. They also did not lead me to believe he would be dying in the next 5 minutes but that we had a long road ahead.  All of those "life-threatening" situations never came to pass. Josh beat all of the doctors best guesses and showed us what an amazing God we have.  I still have my husband. He is still the same man I married almost 7 years ago. His body may be broken but God has given us an amazing gift in allowing Josh's brain to have suffered no ill effect of the swelling or lack of oxygen in the water.

There are many details that many of you are unaware of. I do not wish to be grotesque in what I say, I am just utterly amazed at how Josh has recovered. I continually beg God to heal his body but continue to be thankful for the blessings we have been given.  Josh is still learning of the severity of that first week in Miami when he was in ICU.  He had so much to say to before being intubated, so many looks of desperation when he could not communicate and he remembers nothing of this.  He remembers nothing from the point of arriving at the hospital in Cancun on Thursday afternoon to late Sunday night when the Colts won the semi-finals to the Superbowl (that would be first memory!!!).  Until recently, he still did not grasp the severity of the situation. It makes us both realize again how fragile life is.  After Ava died, we found out how easily a life can be lost.  We lived in fear for many months of something happening to one of our other children, never realizing something could happen to one of us. That first few minutes on the beach in Cancun I remember so vividly thinking "Not again!".  And you know what, God protected us and did not allow that to happen.  How does one explain explain the gratitude yet still beg for so much more? More arms, triceps, fingers, abdominals, legs, feet... total healing.

3/22/07

This is Shelly's mom, Jean, updating a bit more on her special birthday. Thirty years old already. That makes me...OK, we won't go there. Anyway, what better way to celebrate than to go out for dinner with the family. And the means of transportation? The now infamous Whoopty Mobile, or Whoopty as it's being lovingly called by the boys. It's the old/new van generously donated for Josh and Shelly's use until their new van arrives. Three pictures for your enjoyment: First, Jason at the wheel of Whoopty with Shelly riding shotgun. Second, Josh in his place behind Whoopty's wheelchair lift. And third, the family (All except Derek, of course; we missed you, Bud!) at Bentham's in Grand Rapids.

3/22/07 10:45 p.m.

Okay, the cards, flowers and gifts have been out of control today.  Someone (not sure who) decided to let everyone and their brother know that today was my 30th birthday.  I soooo appreciate all the goodies sent my way.  Today was not the kind of birthday you imagine having, especially such as your 30th, but you guys managed to make it special.  Thank you.

Josh had a good day today.  He got an X-ray today to find out if he can get his collar off.  He is anxious to hear back from the doctor.  He is so tired of it and hoping that all is healed well enough to have it off for good. The wife is excited because maybe shaving him won't be such a hassle and a nerve wracking event.  The boy will NOT sit still enough when I take the collar off to shave underneath.  The nurses laugh at how loose it has gotten over the last few weeks and that it's not really serving it's purpose anyway. He's sort of a stinker!

We tried another new chair today.  Josh is excited to order his own wheelchair and have one that fits him perfectly. Because he is so much taller than the average guy, he often feels too big for the chairs he tries out.  He used one today that his feet sit more under his body than out in front. It makes sitting at a table much easier because he can get up close without his feet getting in the way.

Josh did a lot of weight lifting today.  The muscles in his forearms continue to get stronger which will be huge to move himself around with.  More movement means more independence.  Knowing we have a whole month to really work some things out and work as hard as possible has Josh's spirits very high.  We are so thankful for good days and days where Josh keeps us all laughing with his antics.  It makes life seem more normal.

We went out for a nice dinner with my mom & dad and Holly & Jay.  We had a great meal, loved the atmosphere, and had some great laughs.  At one point I was laughing so hard I thought my water might break.  Probably not a good thing huh? :-) Josh did some attempting at feeding himself in public which went decently well.  He ordered a hummus dip with pita and managed to get a few bites in his mouth on his own.  We were all celebrating.  It might seem small but was quite a feat for Josh to accomplish. 

All in all, today was nice.  A girlfriend brought me out for lunch and we hopped over to the mall for some Starbucks. I felt pretty normal all day. It felt like our life might actually be back to normal some day for all of us.  We have such a long way to go but to have a hint of normalcy is so encouraging.

Thank you again to all of you who are pouring your hearts out in prayer for us.  We continue to need them desperately and often. Thanks you also to all of you who made my birthday something to remember. Much love...

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!

-Josh's triceps

-wisdom in decision making

3/21/07 11:50 p.m.

To say that today has been a roller coaster ride is the understatement of the century.  We are so relieved, so thankful for the provisions God has given to us.  So many supportive calls and comments have gone up on the blog and I appreciate every single one of them. 

Josh started running a low-grade temp around lunch, he was flushed, and his blood pressure was much higher than normal.  We were experiencing autonomic dysreflexia for the first time since the accident.  We have been educated on it at length so we knew something was up.  AD is when your body is responding to some type of pain or other stimulus but you are unaware because of your lack of feeling.  Josh having surgery yesterday, he was unaware that his body was in significant pain but his brain and other parts of his body were responding.  It can be surprisingly dangerous, even deadly, if gone unnoticed too long.  Josh took a dose of Vicodin and half an hour later he was back to normal.  We are thankful to have seen this while were still in the care of many medical doctors.  Although it is good to hear so much about it, to recognize it while it was going on and know what to watch for next time is a blessing.

We got to spend a decent amount of time with the kids today.  They did not see daddy yesterday so it was nice to get back on a schedule. I took the kids through McDonald's for supper and Zoe puked it all over herself and me just a little over an hour ago.  Poor little girl.  I am so thankful to be here when she needs me.  To not have your mommy when you're sick is no fun!  Noah has been his typical happy self, although he was very unhappy to see the rain this a.m. and not be able to play outside all morning. The kids both had a chance to take a quick dip in the hot tub before the lightning started and it was time to get out. We figure we've had enough accidents for the time being... not leaving anything to chance.

We now have a date that we know we will be done at MFB as an inpatient.  Josh has 30 days from todya and then he will be coming home to live with us again! Obviously, I am very excited and very nervous at the same time.  We will have a lot of adjusting to do when he gets here.  We do not qualify for any in-home nursing help so we will be on our own (with lots of help from family and friends!). Josh is apprehensive about this as much of what needs to be done to him is usually something considered private before an injury of this type.  We all will have a lot of learning to do.

Ephram continues to make himself known bouncing all around inside my belly.  Both kids are starting to talk about him a lot and wondering when he will be coming home. Zoe's latest concern is that there is no mommy inside my tummy to take care of Ephram.  Try explaining that one to a 3 year old! She cracks me up.

In the area of housing, we have gotten a few phone calls over the last few days where God is definitely looking after us.  We are unsure what this means, but knowing that God has us in the palm of his hand is so reassuring. Over the last few days and weeks I have had a verse stuck in my head that I will close with tonight, it is from memory and I don't know where it's found (and I'm too tired to check right now.)

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope  and a future.

3/21/07 1:35 p.m.

Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!! If any of you knew how stressed we have been the past few hours, you would be amazed.  We were not even sure that we were going to get back to MFB.  They were trying to send him home from here (the hospital) instead of going back to rehab.  We have NOTHING ready for him to come home.  Anyway, we were really hoping to get one more week approved today and hope for the best after that.  Blue Cross is not on my happy list right now.  Anyway, our social worker just walked through Josh's door with a grin on her face. We were approved. She then went on to say that not just for a week but for the 30 days we were praying for! I had given up on that when they were not wanting us to go back today, but Josh's Dr's and therapists worked some major magic and got it approved! The relief is amazing. We have soooo much to be thankful for.  Just a few hours ago Josh was saying that this is about the worst he has felt and we have done quite the 180 now.

We will soon be back on our way to MFB. We do know how valuable our time is now and will not take it for granted. We are now guaranteed a full month.  God is good.  Thank you Lord for allowing Josh to get this much needed time to learn how to handle his body and adjust to the changes you have set in front of us. Amen.