05-07-07 9:00 a.m.

Sorry about my lack of posting. My life has seemed like endless chaos over the last few days and I can't seem to find an extra second to do this. I am starting to think that maybe I should try for the mornings instead of the evenings when things get crazy with getting Josh into bed etc.

Josh has been having a few rough days and it has been very hard around here. His frustration level is very high right now which is a test to me too. He was very upset Saturday night when he knew that Ephram may be coming and he had already been in his chair all day. He has also been having a LOT of trouble staying warm which is a quick drain on his patience. He said that yesterday there was not a moment he was warm all day. He was teeth-chattering cold all day and went to bed with 4 blankets on, the heater on full blast in our room, a wool hat and he was still chattering. This lack of control over his body has seemed to be getting him down more than usual lately. He's been getting down on himself calling himself only a "talking, thinking head" and as a wife, it's very hard to hear. I want to have encouraging words and let him know that he being paralyzed does not make him worthless or just a pain to all involved, but I think he has to figure it out himself. How many times can I tell him that losing him would be sooooo much worse? Sometimes when you're as frustrated as he is right now, words are not the answer.

The van dedication was really neat for us yesterday. As of Wednesday, it will be officially ours. We are going in for a training session with the conversion company to learn how to use all the gadgets, lifts, and all the extra goodies that came along with it. They even had an Alpine DVD player installed for our viewing pleasure! The kids were really excited about that and so was mommy. Anything to keep the kids occupied when I am in charge of all of us in the van. The kids had a blast climbing in and out of the van, checking everything out and sitting in their designated spots!

Today is filled with therapy and doctors appts. for Josh. He is having some problems with the catheter coming out of his stomach so we are heading back to the surgeon to see if this is why he is having chills and retaining water in his feet again. Please be praying for an easy answer for him and that it solves the temperature issues.

Once again, we are praying for complete restoration for Josh's body. We continue to bring this before the Lord daily and know we are learning lessons that we would never know otherwise. We also know we have a platform to talk from that God has made available to us and especially Josh as we walk this road God has before us. Please continue to pray for our attitudes and ability to handle the emotional stress that seems all encompassing at times. Pray that we can continue to rely on our God, who knows this plan he has for us, even when we do not like nor understand it.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!

-Answers to Josh's temperature issues and swelling

-Emotional stability at this time of struggle

4/25/07 9:00 p.m.

Please start praying for Josh. He has been in bed since about 7:30 tonight, not feeling good. The last day and a half have been a struggle for him because he is so cold. One of the side effects of a spinal cord injury is your internal temperature control does not work right, or maybe it's your brain that doesn't perceive it right. Either way, he has had temperature issues the last day and a half. It does not seem to matter how warm his body feels to me or how warm the room is, his teeth continue to chatter. Because he feels so cold, his muscles keep tensing up which makes for some very sore muscles. It is difficult to maneuver his body because his muscles keep spasming and acting up. It has gotten pretty frustrating for Josh.  He has been difficult to comfort tonight and easily getting upset. We are almost hoping that he is getting sick or something of the sort so that there is a reason for  what is going on. He really needs pray for both the physical issues but also for the emotional struggles.

On another note, we went back to MFB today for therapy. Josh worked on trying to push a completely manual wheelchair. This is the type of chair that a paraplegic would normally use, not Josh with a quadriplegic injury. He pushed it about 300 feet and was able to turn some corners which is much more difficult than pushing in a straight line. We also worked on using a slide board to slide around while sitting up on the edge of a mat table.  It is very hard work but it is nice for him to feel challenged. For occupational therapy, Josh worked at picking up different objects using his tinodisis. That's where he uses his wrist flexors to bring his thumb and forefinger together. He was being timed on how many small wooden blocks he could move in one minute. They would then try and different brace on his hand and find if he could beat the last score. Josh is always up for a little competition, even if it is just with himself!

I know it's short, but I have a chance to get a few minutes of shut-eye before we start getting Josh ready for bed. I'm just hoping he's willing to stay in bed for the rest of the night and not wanting to get back up for a while. Please be praying that the sleep I do get is quality and that the Lord helps the sleep I get to be enough to get us all through the day! He is able.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!

-Josh to feel better

-more stable home life for us all