7/29/07 11:20 p.m.
We have another very busy week coming up. I am trying to gear up- attempting to catch up on some sleep and working on having a positive attitude. I have felt overwhelmed more than not as of late. It's frustrating to feel like I cannot keep up or remember everything I am supposed to be doing or getting done. I continue to get a ton of help but am slowly taking control of our lives again, one task at a time.
Josh had a tough weekend. It seems like numerous things happened that have been like a small slap in the face. Many things are happening around us that are wonderful, but for Josh it is bittersweet. It's like a reminder of the things that he can no longer participate in or is no longer able to do. Some friends of ours moved into Eastown over the weekend which is a wonderful thing. They live about a 2 minute drive from our old house. Josh was saying that we should still be living in the old house and walking back and forth to the others house. We had so many plans, and so many of those plans have changed over the last six months. The way he describes it is "bittersweet".
It's funny that he described his feelings yesterday as bittersweet because that is exactly how I feel in regards to Ava. Wednesday will be two years and the best word to describe my feelings is bittersweet. Bitter because she is no longer with us but sweet for the time we had with her. Sweet for the fact that she is in such a better place than any of us are. Sweet that God decided to take her home and that she never had to experience the pain of this earth or the heartaches that come along with it. Although I wish every day that she was with us, I know she is in a much better place than me.
The kids were gone over the weekend with some friends. Zoe has been hesitant to go away from home but was very excited for this trip because they have a pool!!! I called on Saturday thinking I would be picking them up but she wanted to stay "one more sleep". So, they came home today. They also were able to go to our old church in Kalamazoo and see Jonah, a great friend of the two of them. I love it when they enjoy spending time with their little friends. They are growing up so fast!
I am one tired momma and have little to say tonight, so I'll sign off early. Much love and God bless.
-Our emotional health and patience levels
-spiritual growth through this journey