05/19/07 11:00 p.m.

Just a quick update as Ephram is making mommy a bit on edge today. Lots of contractions and not a lot of sleep last night. Yesterday was a good day for Josh. We decided on ordering the I-BOT which is a relief. His concern about finances regarding the chair was the main thing holding him back. After talking at length about how generous people have been and that the majority of people want what would afford Josh the most freedom, we decided to go ahead with it. We now are in the process of beginning the paperwork trail (endless) and getting everything ordered how Josh will need it. We went to a graduation open house for a member of our church and he could not move around at all. When his power chair arrives, he will be able to participate in these activities with much more independence and enjoyment!  Thank you to all of you who have been so giving so that Josh can get the things he needs to make his and our life easier more normal and enjoyable!

The kids spent the weekend in Kalamazoo with friends and are having a ball. It's nice to get a little added time of rest and peace with them being well taken care of and knowing they are having fun. They went to a baseball game and saw friends from our last church. They come home talking about all of their friends and what they are doing. Too cute.

Josh's parents are here so I am getting extra help taking care of Josh. This is a nice respite for me to have his mom around who knows how to take Josh and Josh is comfortable with her taking care of him. Josh's feet seem to be a bit less swollen over the past 2 days. We are working very hard at getting them up during the day and sleeping with them as high as the bed will go. He hates the hospital bed but it is nice to have the option to keep your head low and your feet up.  The blister on the back of his heel has yet to pop. We are thankful for this because the threat of infection is much less if it stays covered with skin. The blistered skin is starting to look older, like it's done it's duty and protected his body from infection. :-)

We had a nice night of hanging around the house and watching a movie last night. After I met our friends from Kalamazoo and dropped the kids off halfway, I came home and we just took it easy. Yesterday was the first day that Josh stayed home by himself. I was gone a bit over 2 hours and he did fine. Before I left, I got him all set up with snacks, drinks, phone in ear in case of emergency, feet up, meds given, drainage bag emptied, and a few other random things. He called me to tell me he was cold and he couldn't move to get the fan off. He was not upset, just acted a little amazed that something as simple as turning off the fan is not possible without help. With his feet propped up, he is totally immobile. All the same, he had a few hours to get the swelling down in his feet, and maybe feel a bit more independent staying home by himself for a while.

Today, Jolie from the GR Press came over and snapped some photos for a photo journal they are doing in the paper next Saturday.  She will also be at church tomorrow night to shoot a few more pics. We are encouraged by any amount of press our story can get and that people can see that we have a hope that a lot of others do not have. It is also a bit uncomfortable to know that anyone who wants to see into our lives can. We also figure that the more real and transparent we are with this situation and how God is using it, the more that people can see the God we know and trust. Yes, I'm sure some people think we're a bunch of freaks, but oh well... :-)

We are now hanging around the house and I'm heading to bed. Josh and his parents are up chit-chatting and I excused myself while I could. I do not usually have the option of someone else taking care of him 100 %. Josh also enjoys this because he knows the break I am getting.

Last bit of news and pretty big news: Ephram is scheduled to arrive sometime on Monday. We got word that I am scheduled for an induction on Monday starting at 3 a.m. Yes, it sounds like an odd time but it seemed this would work best with Josh's schedule and the possibility of him being able to be there. Just a bit under 36 hours and the fun will begin. This momma is more than a little excited to get him out and stop all these crazy contractions! Please be in prayer for us on Monday as we start this new chapter of our lives.  We are very excited, but obviously, very nervous. We are praying for a happy, content baby (I know most mothers desire this) as we are already a bit maxed out. Either way, we are so excited for our new little buddy to arrive and be a part of our family!

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-Ephram's arrival

-stability for our family during more transitions!

05/17/07 11:50 p.m.

Pretty rough day yesterday to say the least. Josh woke up with a blister on his foot yesterday. He is checked over very well every morning and it was discovered. Because his feet are so swollen, even his huge shoes are tight. It ended up giving him a blister which really freaked us out. PT Kristy settled us down some and gave us some hints on how to handle it to avoid infection. I went out and bought a huge pair of shoes and we cut the back out of them so there can be no rubbing. We needed to find tennis shoes that have laces that can be loosened and tightened depending on the severity of the swelling of the day. So far, the blister looks good and not at all red or infected.

All of this excitement, added to the normal difficulties of the day, made for a very emotional day. Lots of tears for both of us, a late night of laying in our beds talking long into the night. He was then unable to sleep last night for fear he would pop his blister when he had a spasm.

Josh had therapy yesterday at MFB which went well. My dad took him so that I could take a nap and catch up on a little sleep. Any extra shut-eye I can get right now is greatly appreciated. Tomorrow is the big day at therapy where he has to make his final decision on his power chair. As of right now, he is still unsure of what to do. He wants the I-BOT but is concerned about the added expense of it. It will end up costing us a few thousand more than any other power chair. I just want him to get the wheelchair that will afford him the most freedom. Guess we'll see which way he goes.

Today was a laid back day of hanging around the house, getting medical paperwork and phone calls completed, and lots of other busy work. Josh spent most of the day on the phone and reading. He is getting better at turning pages, especially to magazines. He is growing a bit tired of my girlie magazines he has been reading! :-) We have been doing a little bit of internet research on things Josh can do to keep himself busy. He finds himself frustrated by the fact that he accomplishes nothing during the day. We are still waiting for his adaptive equipment to arrive to help with his computer. I'm sure that will help some. Every site I find talks mainly about recreational sports and that is not what we are looking for. Maybe I'll write a book a few years from now on things to do when you get home from the hospital so you don't go mad with boredom! :-)

The kids are doing very well and getting very anxious for Ephram to arrive. We had an amniocentesis to check for his lung development yesterday. Everything came back very positive so we were encouraged. God continues to protect Ephram, but now that we know he would be safe if he arrived, I AM READY!!!!  Noah and Zoe are visiting friends in Kalamazoo for the weekend. This will help us get some additional rest and the kids are more than a little excited.

We found out some interesting news yesterday. We had looked at some land on a street about a mile from the church to possibly build on. Neither Josh nor I had a  peace about it because it was so small and to make a big decision like this, we wanted to be sure this is where God was leading.  We were much more interested in the land across the street that is an empty lot, but not for sale. The lot of 120 by 160, huge by Grand Rapids standards and more than enough space to build a decent sized ranch and still have a yard. We called the owners a few times starting the end of February but never heard back. Well, the couple arrived home from Florida (they don't check voice mail while gone) and were very interested in selling. They had it appraised and told us they would sell it for the appraised value. We are very interested, but also don't want to spend the huge chunk of money on land before we even start building a house. We also want to be wise financially and make the best decision possible, both financially for our family and emotionally for our family. Please be in prayer that God makes his plans for us very clear and that everyone is in agreement on what should be done. Our main hope is that EMHE comes through. We have not given that dream up.  We did find out that if we would be chosen, the first we would hear would be about a year from now because of the way they are taping right now.

Tomorrow is back to MFB for therapy. Please be in prayer for us as we have more decisions to make and we only desire to honor God through them. We know that if we are not in the center of his will, things will be rough. We continue to pray for guidance in all these areas.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-wise decisions regarding land purchases

-ideas for activities to keep Josh busy and having a sense of meaning

05/15/07 11:00 p.m.

Well, it's been a crazy two days around here. Lots of excitement thinking the baby is coming and they'll actually let him arrive, and then... no baby. Pretty disappointing in some ways, but good because he has had a few more days to grow. I went in for an ultrasound today, the doctor was hoping he was over five pounds because my stomach has been measuring small (no, I do not look small). The ultrasound estimated "little" Ephram is 6 lbs. 9 oz.!!! God's been putting our little buddy's growth into overdrive! For that we are thankful.

Josh had therapy and a doctor's appointment yesterday. Therapy was uneventful and then we headed to his appointment. After waiting for almost an hour and 45 minutes to see him, Josh was fit to be tied! He kept threatening to leave, but we had already waited so long at that point, it seemed sort of ridiculous. Our main concern has been the swelling in Josh's feet. He can no longer get into much of any shoes, we are having to watch his heels pretty closely because they get red in his shoes and we do NOT want an open sore, and the Ted hose do not seem to do much of anything. The doctors verdict was that Josh needs to get out of his chair and get his feet above his heart for at least 2 hours a day. Because Josh's feet are hanging down all day, and do not get moved but when someone moves them for him, the circulation in his feet is getting poorer and poorer. This could eventually lead to some pretty serious health conditions and not something we want to mess with. Josh is very unhappy about how to deal with this, feeling like his life is already so restricted and now the doctor wants him back in bed during the day. We compromised at this point and are trying to get his feet up as much as we can on an ottoman, at least 2 hours a day, but not back in bed. If this does not ease the swelling, he will have to do the bed thing.  Please pray that Josh has patience with this situation and does not allow himself to become angry. It is a constant struggle of knowing you have to accept the changes but hating them all the same. It seems like a minute to minute choice to not allow ourselves to become angry or bitter. Thankfully, we both seem to be on opposite schedules when it comes to this so we can encourage the other when needed! God is working, even in the details.

I wanted to take a moment and say thank you to all of you who have been sending gift certificates for us to go out to dinner. This is one of the few things that Josh can do pretty easily and with enjoyment. We so appreciate all the On The Border gift cards, Applebee's and all kinds of others. We were thinking that we have only paid for a meal or two of our own since the accident. We would never be able to enjoy this otherwise. It is also great for Josh to be able to get out and about in these situations and practice getting in and out of places, how to situate himself at different tables (especially when there is no room for his extremely long legs), and working many other life skills we have been encouraged to work on. Without all of you out there, we would be sitting at home where Josh has a tendency to get discouraged and depressed much easier. So, all in all, thank you all so much for allowing us to experience a bit of normalcy in our lives and being able to get out of the house without going broke!!! :-) You guys are great.

Today was a slow day. After spending most of the night at the hospital with my mom and sister, we were all exhausted today and they were the ones here to watch the kids. Josh did not come up to the hospital, we will be waiting to bring him until the birth is getting closer. Not exactly how we imagined we would be delivering the little guy, but I guess things change. Josh got ranged, we ate lunch together, the kids played outside all day, and I had a chance to take a nap. My poor mom and sister were up all night too but they stayed awake while I snoozed. I had a little guilt over that one and then decided to let it go! Isn't family great? Just kidding...

Josh is now enjoying watching reruns of the sitcom "The Office" from last season with some friends and I can hear him laughing. It does my heart good to hear him sound so much like he did 6 months ago. There are times that I can hear that carefree giggle in his voice and I love it, sort of like music to  my ears. We have said about a million times how much harder this would be if we couldn't laugh. There are so many things that have happened that you can either laugh or cry and we choose to laugh if at all possible. Yes, there are times that we both just break down and sob and it feels so good after, but we also want to survive this and still be happy. Before the accident, I always felt like we always had things to talk about, like on our long drive down to Florida this Christmas, we just talked and talked and it was so nice. Now, I feel like if we didn't talk even more, we would drown. There are so many limitations to what we can share together right now, but conversation is not one of them. I'm so happy to be married to someone I actually like, much less love. He's a pretty amazing guy... can you tell I like him? :-)

Well, tomorrow is back to therapy and doctor's appointments and the business of recovery. We enjoy our down days while they last. Nighty-night now.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-Our attitudes in regard to this life change

-Ephram to arrive quickly and safely with no complications

05/14/07 8:30 a.m.

Yesterday was a good day for all of us. Josh woke up around 8:00 and had his morning routine with the nurse tech that comes over to take care of him. I am so thankful for this luxury right now. Just moving him around in his wheelchair, getting him ready for bed, and his daily needs are enough to tire me out right now. God brought us someone who is very reliable and Josh is comfortable with. We plan on keeping him on until the middle or end of August- once mommy is back to normal and the kids are soon to be heading to school for the fall. After that, we will be doing it on our own.

We had a nice Mother's Day yesterday. My mom and dad, Holly and Jay and the kids, and the four of us gathered here and grilled out. Getting all of us ready to eat at the same time is quite the challenge, but we did eventually manage.  Once we adults were ready to eat, the kids were running around, hyper, riding bikes around our table (we ate outside), begging to be pushed on the swing set, and all other kinds of kid antics. We adults just sat and watched and enjoyed watching them be kids.

Josh gave me a chance to take a nap yesterday. This was something that felt normal, like before the accident. I put the kids in bed for a "rest" (yeah, right) and he sat out in the kitchen reading and making sure no one escaped from the bedroom. It was extremely nice for me.  I love that he is getting to the point where he is able to do this sort of thing, knowing I am in the next room if he needs me.

Funny story I forgot to tell: Night before last, it was about 4 in the morning and Josh was doing a lot of moaning and groaning. I had just turned him so I figured he was trying to settle back in and get comfortable. Then, he started  yelling at me about all kind of random things, most of which I could not understand. I was getting out of bed, really fired up about him yelling at me to do stuff (I'm more than willing to do whatever, but he is never rude like this) and acting angry at me. So as I stood over him, I start raising my voice back and him and I do a double take. He was sound asleep! He has no recollection whatsoever of it and must have been having a dream of some sort. I went back to bed with a little giggle and a sigh of relief.

Church was great last night. It's nice to try and get back into the swing of life, no matter how difficult it is. If we didn't have Zach and Rachel living with us right now, I would be in big trouble. They came home from their Mother's Day celebration to help us get out of here on time and to church. They are amazing and such a blessing to us. I made it through about half the service before sitting in the church chairs was no longer an option. If you've ever visited our church you know we have theatre seating from a loooong time ago. It looks amazing but is not so comfy on the pregnant mommy's back.  Either way, it was nice to see everyone from church and just spend time together.

After church, Josh had his first chance to go out with a group of people after church to the area hang-out where church people spend a lot of time. Josh and Jay have reached a lot of people at this area hang-out. It's not your typical Christian place to hang out and that's what they love about it. Josh was very excited to be able to go back and feel like he could talk to people and do what he does best.

It's now Monday morning and the week is just beginning. We are heading to clinic this afternoon after therapy to see if we can figure out Josh's swollen feet. He is tired of his "sausages" as he calls them, and they are a new thing. Please pray that they can figure out the cause and get it figured out. He is sick of shoes being shoved on his feet and still not fitting. :-)  That's all for now. Have a great day!

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING!!!!

-Josh's clinic appt. to go well today

-More muscle strength in arms