4/22/07 11:00 p.m.

Today started bright and early, around 6:20.  We had a lot to accomplish before 8:30 when we had to leave to go to Daybreak.  We found someone to help on Sunday mornings when we need help getting Josh ready so this morning was easier than we were anticipating.

We got to Daybreak around 9 o'clock and Josh had a chance to share from his heart for the first time with people other than from our church. They did an interview with him on stage after showing a video they had created. We were both very happy with how the video turned out and how the service went. I also went on stage with Josh and I had a chance to feel so proud of him and how he handled the tough questions and how evident his faith is. Not to even suggest that it's not tough all the time, but his attitude encourages me a lot of the time.

We went out for Sunday dinner with some people from the church and had a nice time.  It's hard to go out to eat with people that have not seen us much since the accident. I'm sure the difference is stark and drastic. And then, I go and start forgetting to feed him. I got into a conversation with someone next to me and after a few minutes he whispers to me "Hey, will you keep feeding me? I'm kinda hungry." He was really sweet about it and grinned at me like he knew I would feel bad, but that's probably something I should work on. :-)

We came home around 3 o'clock and the kids were still with Zach and Rachel (the couple living with us until August). Josh talked about getting into bed for a few minutes so we had to place the lift sling under him to lift him up. This was the first time I have tried to do this on my own with this new sling. To say the least, I had a wrestling match with the sling for over a half hour and was near tears I was so frustrated. Thankfully, Josh and I both held it together at that point. After the sling incident, the time was pretty limited so we realized a nap was a little out of the question and he wanted to go out to the backyard to sit in the sun. Should have been easy, but it wasn't. The slider came off the track and, for the life of me, I could not get the door open. When I finally got the door open, I was ready to scream. At that point, I realized I had to get myself back together so that I could be ready to face the rest of the day. 

Josh had a bit of a harder evening after church, needing help to do so much and realizing his limits. Those times are hard and come often. I hate that there is nothing I can do to fix it but to listen to him and pray with him when he hurts. Even in these times of hardship, God has been a comfort when we feel like giving up.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we enter the first week of being home together and starting a new schedule. Any change right now is hard on Josh and so many people have talked about how difficult the first month back home is. We pray that God brings us joy, comfort and patience as we start this new life together.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-Josh's fingers and triceps

-transitioning to our new life at home

4/21/07 10:30 p.m.

Well, it's official. We're home. It's been quite the process but we're here. We had a full day of PT and OT yesterday. Josh tried a new therapy called the stand-up table. It's a table where you start out laying on your back and strapped to it. The table is then slowly moved into the upright position and he is standing.  He talked about how odd it felt to have weight placed on his feet. At one point, he did get a little light-headed, but not too much. He was up for close to half an hour. This is good for getting blood flow to all the lower extremities and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now. :-)

We packed up Josh's stuff and it looked like moving day. He had collected quite a bit over the last 3 months. We left MFB around 4:00 and made it home about 4:30. Both of the kids were waiting for us, there were about 100 pink flamingoes in the front yard, and the kids had made a big "Welcome Home Daddy" banner that was hung up in the house. It was a nice homecoming. We spent the evening hanging out with the kids, eating dinner together as a family (the kids fighting to get down the whole time) and sitting outside watching them swing. We let them stay up late because they were being so good.

After the kids went to bed, Josh relaxed in front of the TV and I spent a decent amount of time unpacking and trying to organize the massive amount of medical supplies. Josh started getting tired a little after midnight and we started to get him ready for bed. Right now everything takes a long time because we don't know where anything is. We finally got him ready and the lights went out around 1:00. It was so amazing to have him in the same room as me. A few minutes after the lights went out, he said something and it really took me by surprise to hear someone else in the room with me. It was great!!! It is so nice to finally have my husband home even if we're not in the same bed yet. The overnight stay was interesting and I realized I still have a lot to learn.  To prevent pressure sores, he needs to be turned every 3 hours. We can work up to a little more time if his skin looks good, but as of right now he's too nervous to go much longer.  It will definitely take some getting used to, but it was manageable.

This morning, Jerry, Josh's home health care aide, came at 9:00 to get him ready for the day. There were lots of little things we realized that needed to be addressed so that this morning routine goes smoothly. We are going to try and find some solutions when OT and PT come over on Monday for therapy. We will normally be going back to MFB on these days, but they are coming over to see what issues we have faced and try to problem-solve with us. This will be very helpful for us.

The ministry that was formed in relation to Josh's accident, a.k.a. 311 Ministries, had a meeting in Marion, Indiana today. It was long and many issues were addressed. We got a long run-down of the meeting and are so blessed to have so many people who are willing to use their time and brain power to help us out.  So many decisions have already been made so that we are in the best situation possible. It is nice to have smart people talking about the best way to handle tax issues, Medicaid issues, budgets, medical costs, and how to best allow Josh to use this situation for God's glory.

The kids went away for a good portion of late morning and afternoon which was nice for Josh and me. We had numerous groups of visitors today who stopped by to welcome us home. We enjoyed seeing people and also enjoyed having no agenda. This is extremely out of the norm when every hour of your daytime has been scheduled for the last 3 months and you have little say in it. To just sit around, unpack some, talk, and eat together was very nice.

The kids came home, Brad and Sarah and their kids came over, and we had a nice evening of ordering out pizza and just hanging out. Noah rode his bike all night and Zoe was thoroughly entertained by having a friend over. We are heading to Daybreak Community in Hudsonville tomorrow morning and Josh will be interviewed by the pastor as part of the message. Please pray that God uses Josh in a mighty way and that he feels encouraged to be able to share what he has been learning. He so desperately wants to make sense of this situation and knows that may be impossible. But to know that God is using it for others to know him more makes the sense of loss more bearable.

Please remember us in your prayers as we try and learn each others routines, how to best move him around, take care of his needs, take care of the kids and little Ephram inside my tummy, and all the other changes we are experiencing. Pray that we continue to treat each other with patience when the other is frustrated or unsure of how to handle a new situation. Pray that I get good and fast at doing all the work that he needs to have done for him so that we have time for other things (such as sleep).  We love you all and so appreciate your faithfulness in praying for us as we continue on this journey...

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-Patience as we learn how to work and live together as a family

-For God to use Josh in a way we never dreamed before this 

4/19/07 11:00 p.m.

 Today was a bit of a rougher day for Josh. As the move date draws ever closer, nerves seem to be coming in to play (even if Josh won't admit it). We had another bout of dysreflexia and we talked at length with the nursing staff about how to handle it at home. I'm feeling a bit more confident about the whole situation but it still kind of stinks.

We started taking the room apart tonight in preparation for Josh's discharge tomorrow. It felt kind of weird, I even felt a little nostalgic in some sort of sick way, getting ready to leave. After being at MFB for almost 3 months, we have made some great friends and people we will miss greatly. Josh is definitely ready to leave but still wants to put in a full day of therapy tomorrow.

Today we spent time in the power wheelchair a.k.a. the I-BOT today. He was trying it out in some rough terrain, going off of curbs with it in a high speed and generally seeing what it can do for him that other chairs cannot. My mom was there and was very impressed and was convinced it was a definite go-ahead and well worth the additional dollars.

We did have a disappointing bit of info come our way. Josh is always in his power-assist chair and was hoping it would be ready in the next week or week and a half. The goal was to have it by the time he was discharged or the week after he leaves. We found out today that somehow there was a miscommunication and it was not ordered. It will now be a while before the chair is ready and Josh will have to depend on a power chair that he does not like. It is not the end of the world, but Josh was really upset. When he gets "angry upset" I feel like I can handle it, but today he got "quiet upset" and those situations are much harder to deal with. By tonight he was doing better but still very frustrated.

He spent some time in a 3-wheeled bike today that is hand controlled. It did NOT work so well. His hands kept falling off the handles, his knees kept hitting the bars, and he kept falling forward. He did not act too bothered by it so I thought he was fine. Later tonight he talked about how embarrassing it is in those situations but figured laughing was better than crying. It's amazing how, even after 3 months of watching him deal with this situation, I still cannot always read him correctly. It's hard to hear your husband talk of being embarrassed about situations he has no control over.

He did have the honor of holding a baby this morning. One of the therapists brought in her 7 week old little boy to show off to all her coworkers. Kristy (PT) brought both the mom and baby upstairs to give Josh a chance to hold little Jorgan. Josh said he felt decently comfortable and the baby was adorable. He said that Jorgan laid there so quietly after a few minutes and gave him some huge smiles. I think it made him feel like he may be capable of holding Ephram and definitely got him more excited for his arrival.

Tomorrow will be a big day for us. Please be praying that everything goes smoothly and that Josh feels like he is ready to leave. It will be a huge transition over the next few months and we are excited but nervous. We know God has us in the middle of his plan and we have peace knowing that. We continue to beg God for Josh's body to be healed, but we also are dealing with the realities we have to face on a day to day basis.

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING

-the move tomorrow

-Josh's fingers and triceps

4/18/07 11:20 p.m.

Sorry about the lack of posting last night. Baby Ephram was trying to come and see the world a little too early and we ended up in the hospital for just a few hours. We did not have to spend the night but got home and was exhausted. They pumped some drugs in to stop the contractions and a few other things not appropriate to talk about, but mommy and baby are doing better tonight.

Josh started yesterday with his Tuesday trip to the YMCA. He is getting more at ease every time he goes and they continue to trouble shoot while they are there. He had a typical afternoon of therapy and lots of hard work. Last night he had a chance to go to core team. This is a weekly meeting at our house where we discuss where the church is going, what needs to be done, and what is not going so well. The group consists of about 15 people who are the leaders in the church. He got to go this week because now that we are at the new house, he can get inside! Pretty exciting stuff!

Last night we also met with some of the pastors from Daybreak Community in Hudsonville to discuss Josh being a part of the service Sunday. We are excited to go and share what God has been doing in our lives over the last 3 months. This is the first opportunity, outside of our own church, where Josh will be able to really speak from his heart. This is a great encouragement to him and we are looking forward to it. It will be interesting needing to be somewhere at 9:00 a.m. and us being responsible to get him there, looking somewhat put together, and me being the responsible party. We have hired someone 6 days a week but he is wanting to go to church with his own family on Sunday mornings so we are in the process of looking for that one special someone who can do Sundays weekly.

Today was a busy day of trying out a new exercise "bike" with Josh.  He was laid on his back and his arms and legs were strapped in above his body. He uses his arms to get the bike moving which also moves his legs. There is a computer screen over his head where he can see the progress he is making and also got to watch Dave Matthews on DVD which helped him along! :-) He really enjoyed this. Having his legs over his heart also allowed for some of the swelling in his ankles to diminish.  We both have "cankles" right now so we're two peas in a pod!

A videographer from Daybreak came today to do some taping of Josh in action so they could do a little blurb to run before Josh gets up to talk. They are hoping that the video will turn out well enough where we can bring it to other places where Josh speaks and will serve as a quick synopsis of our life. Pretty cool!

Tonight, Josh went on the MFB bus along with two other patients to have one last outing before he goes home. He chose to go and see "Blades of Glory" and some of his guy friends met him there. They said the movie was hilarious, but I did not want to lower my IQ by going and seeing this movie. I did some computer work and ran a few errands. I then met him at the mall and we ate in the food court and then ran to a few stores for about a half hour. He had some good practice trying to get through small spaces and having to ask for help to reach stuff. That was really the point of the trip so he succeeded.

When we got back to MFB we loaded up the shower chair and massive lift into the Hoopty, gotta love the lift, and brought it all back to our new house. It makes it feel like he's really coming home in less than 48 hours. Noah and Zoe made a big sign that says "Welcome Home Daddy" to hang up on the wall when he gets home. Tonight, she prayed that the sign would help daddy remember to come home in "two more sleeps."  She judges days by the number of "sleeps" she has to have. Noah is just all together excited and wants daddy to watch him swing. We're all glad that is something Josh is still able to do.

I'm feeling pretty encouraged tonight, getting excited for Josh to come home. I know it will be very overwhelming and we have a ton of adjusting to do, but I am thankful for the days where I feel like we are going to survive. Lots of little things need to come together before Friday so please remember us in prayer this next few days.

One other thing, a few of you asked about getting Josh's message on the web. There is a link to it on the front page if you're interested...

Prayer Requests:

-TOTAL HEALING OF JOSH'S BODY

-Josh's fingers and triceps

-the transition about to take place as we move home together as a fami