Since Josh got hurt in January of 2007, we have had lots of deal with and grow accustomed to. One of the things we have not had to deal with is extra health issues.

Josh got sick after minor surgery in October and it seemed to carry on forever. He finally recovered totally after about a month. Since the first of January we are back to more health issues. He has spent, by far, the majority of his days in bed since then.

Over the last three years, Josh has become very independent in his day to day life during the day. He needs help getting up and getting in bed; the time spent in between is mostly help-free. He spends a good portion of his day working on different projects in his office, meeting with different people, and just general life. I get his lunch ready, pour his coffee, just basic things that I probably should have done more of even before he got hurt. None of this takes any major amount of time. Just our new normal.

So, now that he has been down for the count, things have changed. Drastically. He calls me to itch his neck, to change the TV channel, to just come and lay by him. Many days, he never comes out of our bedroom at all. This has become extremely taxing emotionally on Josh. In the past year or so, he has become so much more aware of how his situation affects me. It is difficult for him to know that his paralysis and absolute need for help stresses me out. We are in a difficult situation.

Then I look at the situations many others are in and know that we are blessed. Josh is still here with us. His mind is the same as it was before he was hurt. Our kids bring us great joy. God has provided for us in ways we never dreamed possible.

All the same, we are still having a hard time. Please pray for Josh's emotional and physical wellbeing. Pray for our sanity. Pray that we can keep a Christ-like attitude when I feel like throwing a grown-up sized temper tantrum.

Thanking God for grace.
Posted on February 8, 2010 .