Noah has really been struggling lately. It hurts this momma's heart to see him like this.

Noah was born on June 22, 2002. He was our little surprise and we were so excited to be starting a family. I was being medicated for a seizure disorder so we knew that the medication could cause problems (mainly spina bifida). So when he was born with no apparent issues, we were overjoyed! Noah spent 4 days in the NICU after being vacuum-extracted and having quite a bruise on his head. It caused issues with his oxygen saturation and all kinds of other smaller issues. We brought him home thinking his problems were over. He began crying, refusing to eat, and just generally unhappy at about a week old. Generally unhappy does not describe the screaming we heard over the next many months. He was very late reaching milestones and we were already having him tested at 8 months of age.

All to say, we have always known Noah was different. We love him that way. It's just who he is.

But our struggle to keep Noah safe is another issue all together. The kid is crazy. No, for real. He has absolutely no concept of danger. He jumped out of our second story night before last. He knew he was in trouble for leaving his bedroom but we could NOT get him to understand that the real problem was the danger. Yesterday, he somehow managed to get the garage door to come off the track and come down at break-neck speed. Thankfully, no one was under it. A few weeks ago, he started a fire in my parents trailer in the garbage can. These are just a few examples of what we have been dealing with.

We are not dealing with a little boy who is devious or defiant. We are dealing with a little boy who seems to lack the decision making skills to make good decisions. We talked to his behavioral pediatrician at length yesterday and we feel like we may finally be getting somewhere. He believes Noah has a neurologic impairment, possibly in his frontal lobe, where decision-making lies. It seems like the doctors are finally starting to understand that we need help.

Noah needs constant supervision, "don't let the kid out of your sight" constant supervision. The things he manages to do is usually when he is alone for just a minute or two. When in his bedroom, we have installed a lock so that we know he cannot get out (so he goes out the window instead).

So, the race is back on to find help. Noah needs some form of a "label" to get the help he needs from the schools and the doctors. We are waiting for results for a metabolic disorder that causes neruologic impairment, but it had to be sent to Mayo Clinic so the wait is one to two weeks.

Any form of a label will not change who our sweet little boy is. For all of his craziness, he is nothing but sweet. He endears himself to almost all he meets. He is full of joy and laughter, pure innocence. Our greatest desire for Noah is for him to love the Lord and to be happy. If these two things hold true, we will consider it success. Greatest success.
Posted on July 21, 2009 .