05-07-07 9:00 a.m.
Sorry about my lack of posting. My life has seemed like endless chaos over the last few days and I can't seem to find an extra second to do this. I am starting to think that maybe I should try for the mornings instead of the evenings when things get crazy with getting Josh into bed etc.
Josh has been having a few rough days and it has been very hard around here. His frustration level is very high right now which is a test to me too. He was very upset Saturday night when he knew that Ephram may be coming and he had already been in his chair all day. He has also been having a LOT of trouble staying warm which is a quick drain on his patience. He said that yesterday there was not a moment he was warm all day. He was teeth-chattering cold all day and went to bed with 4 blankets on, the heater on full blast in our room, a wool hat and he was still chattering. This lack of control over his body has seemed to be getting him down more than usual lately. He's been getting down on himself calling himself only a "talking, thinking head" and as a wife, it's very hard to hear. I want to have encouraging words and let him know that he being paralyzed does not make him worthless or just a pain to all involved, but I think he has to figure it out himself. How many times can I tell him that losing him would be sooooo much worse? Sometimes when you're as frustrated as he is right now, words are not the answer.
The van dedication was really neat for us yesterday. As of Wednesday, it will be officially ours. We are going in for a training session with the conversion company to learn how to use all the gadgets, lifts, and all the extra goodies that came along with it. They even had an Alpine DVD player installed for our viewing pleasure! The kids were really excited about that and so was mommy. Anything to keep the kids occupied when I am in charge of all of us in the van. The kids had a blast climbing in and out of the van, checking everything out and sitting in their designated spots!
Today is filled with therapy and doctors appts. for Josh. He is having some problems with the catheter coming out of his stomach so we are heading back to the surgeon to see if this is why he is having chills and retaining water in his feet again. Please be praying for an easy answer for him and that it solves the temperature issues.
Once again, we are praying for complete restoration for Josh's body. We continue to bring this before the Lord daily and know we are learning lessons that we would never know otherwise. We also know we have a platform to talk from that God has made available to us and especially Josh as we walk this road God has before us. Please continue to pray for our attitudes and ability to handle the emotional stress that seems all encompassing at times. Pray that we can continue to rely on our God, who knows this plan he has for us, even when we do not like nor understand it.
-Answers to Josh's temperature issues and swelling
-Emotional stability at this time of struggle