3/5/07 5:15 a.m.
I realize I only posted a few hours ago, but I thought I would again. I am laying in my bed, with my adorable little Zoe sorta' snoring next to me, and I can't sleep. My mind is running a mile a minute and my prayers seem inadequate and self-centered. There are so many times through out the day where I feel so encouraged and up-lifted but there are these times where I feel discouraged and scared. I wonder what is taking God so long to heal Josh? I know everything is perfect in his time, but come on and heal him already. I know you can... what's the hold up?
I see Josh at his best times and his worst times. We pray so often for an encouraging sensation, movement or gain in some area. When days go by and we don't see much change, it's difficult to accept. So much of this is difficult to accept. We are getting to a point where we want to accept whatever God's plan is, but we don't know the plan. Sometimes the "not knowing" seems harder than the process of accepting what is to come.
Please pray for our spirits to continued to be lifted. These 5 a.m. posts mean my mind is at war with my heart. I want to let my heart win out, God is present there and Satan wants to take a hold of my mind. He wants to fill me with thoughts of inability, lack of faith and discouragement. I know these thoughts are not Christ-like but they are still a real battle waging in my mind.
God continues to encourage us daily through this trying experience. Please pray that God continues to allow us to feel this way and not become overwhelmed in this process. Pray that Satan cannot get a foothold in our thoughts or hearts. We know the truth, we want to claim the truth and let God be glorified!