3/31/07 10:10 p.m.
In some ways today was great and in other ways it was hard. Josh started out with his typical rehab workouts. He worked his upper body very hard and is continuing to add weight while his is lifting. That is very encouraging to him. After therapy, we went upstairs for lunch and things went a little sour. Josh is being encouraged daily by his therapists to work at feeding himself. They also "strongly" encourage me to have him feed himself. Well, after working out for a few hours in the morning, the last thing he wants to do is work at feeding himself for an hour during his short break. To say the least, I was not winning the wife of the year award when I got his feeding utensils out and said something along the lines of not wanting to feed him for the next forty years when he is capable of feeding himself. You think I was insensitive? :-) He was pretty frustrated with me but I didn't know what to do. It seems like it's hard to got your point across sometimes when you're both frustrated. I know how much he is capable of doing if he pushes himself and he knows that also. It's still hard to know that what you're doing is making your husbands life more difficult.
Anyway, he headed back downstairs for more therapy and I went out shopping for some things we are needing before Josh gets home in three weeks. I started out at Bed, Bath and Beyond trying to find those OXO Good Grips with a fork and a spoon in it. This way he will be able to have something less visually obtrusive when he feeds himself. Well, they don't carry them but you can get them online. That was no big deal. I went on to try and find a blanket that is lighter in weight than our down comforter so that he can cover himself up at night. For about 15 minutes I was looking for something and seeing some things that looked like they would work, and realized I was only looking at King sizes and that we will not be sleeping together. I was very discouraged. Sometimes this just hits me in the weirdest ways. So, then I think I need to get maybe something cheap that matches for two twin beds thinking maybe we can push them together but they will not be the same height and the hospital bed Josh is getting is extra long so he needs new sheets too. Then I realize I need a twin size bed to sleep in cause our king size bed will not fit in our bedroom along with his bed and added equipments. This was only the beginning of all my frustrations while I was there. I ended up, sitting on the floor, calling my mom and crying about how frustrated I was. Most of the time I love to shop, but this is not the type of shopping most would consider "fun."
The house we are probably renting is 3 bedrooms and we figured we would put Noah and Zoe in their own rooms. I then realized that anyone who came to spend the night, either to visit or to help, would have nowhere to sleep. So then I realized we would probably need some bunk beds for the kids. This was something we knew we would eventually get for the boys because they will be sharing a room. We just moved the time frame up a few years! So I went and looked at a bunch of options getting more and more overwhelmed and then just deciding I didn't have the emotional stamina to do it today. So... I left.
I met Josh and his parents out for an early dinner and it was nice. I was much less stressful than the previous few hours. We had nice conversation, good food and we all felt half-way normal. Very nice. Josh was then getting ready to head over to Jay and Holly's to watch the Ohio State game so I decided to head home and do some baby organizing. Marianne, from across the street, came over and we had a nice evening of just chit-chatting while I got some things done. The kids are gone tonight and I have no obligations until tomorrow morning. I already took one bath, maybe I'll take another...
-housing decisions- total guidance from God