Back Home

Well, it's official. We have moved back into our house in Eastown. Josh and I spent the night here on Friday night and made the decision to give it a go. We brought the kids home yesterday afternoon. They were both excited to be back and surprisingly, hadn't forgotten the place. Being in the place that they remember Ava last, it has brought many questions and comments. Zoe seems to understand that Ava will not be coming back but Noah does not. I found a can of formula today and he was somewhat upset that I told him Ava didn't need it. It has been very difficult to talk to the kids so concretely about the fact that Ava is in heaven with Jesus and won't be coming back. Noah is convinced she is sleeping or with grandma. Pray that we will have wisdom in what and how we explain this to them.

It is surprising to me that we can move back to this house after everything that happened here. I get a real sense of sadness here but I do not feel traumatized by the memories. I truly believe it is because of the power of prayer. All of you praying for us has done incredible things for us. Please continue. It has officially been six weeks today but it feels like about six hours. Everything is so fresh. We still are in dire need of your prayers.

We redid the room where the accident took place. It was in the girls room (I will always think of it that way). We prepared Zoe for a big change in the way things looked and were set up. She was very excited to see her "pink bedroom". When we entered she was yelling "pink bedroom" but then stopped quickly and asked, "Where's Aba's bed?" (Both kids call her Aba as the V sound has not yet come along!) We explained that Ava was gone and sleeps with Jesus. Is there sleeping in heaven? I sure hope so as it is something I love to do.

Noah rode the bus to school today for the first time. He goes to school five days a week for a half day. We were not sure how he would do for his first bus ride. I figured if he got upset I would ride with him but he just looked at Josh and I with big eyes like he wondered what the heck was going on. Which leads me to a specific prayer request. We have been trying to be understanding with the kids when it comes to things they have not wanted to do. For example, Noah is wanting to go to sleep with us at night. We have been allowing him to fall asleep with us and then moving him to his own bed. There are small examples like this everywhere. Many of them do not cause a problem but some of them may be the start of some bad habits. Pray that we will be able to decipher when it is related to everything going on and when they are just trying to manipulate us. They do that? you ask. They both loooove to. Pray that we have wisdom in when to discipline and when to be lenient. When to put our foot down and when to just pick them up and hug them.

That's all for now. Can't think of anything else really exciting to say. Hope all you guys are doing well. Love you all.

Posted on September 12, 2005 .